elections 2016's posts - Turkish uPOST

Jesus Electoral Christ, Jill Stein Actually Raised Over $2 Million To Fund a Vote Recount  Jesus Electoral Christ, Jill Stein Actually Raised Over $2 Million To Fund a Vote Recount 

This wild-ass year will never cease until it gives every one of us a heart attack, a seeping ulcer, and a probably false sense of hope: Jill Fucking Stein—presidential Green Party candidate and diverter of 1.2 million perfectly good votes—is on track to raise $2.5 million to request a recount of ballots in three swing…

Computer Science Professor Says Ballots In Key States Have to Be Examined to Rule Out Cyberattack Computer Science Professor Says Ballots In Key States Have to Be Examined to Rule Out Cyberattack

In a development that would feel insane any other year but seems about on par for 2016, New York magazine’s Gabriel Sherman reported yesterday that a group of election lawyers and computer scientists are urging the Clinton campaign to ask for recounts in three key states won by Donald Trump. Wednesday morning, one of…

Here Are Some Half-Decent Things You Could Try If You Want To Here Are Some Half-Decent Things You Could Try If You Want To

On the theory you could probably use it, here’s a brief and erratic list of decent distractions, compiled by the Jezebel staff.

Paul Ryan Congratulates the Guy About to Fire Him Paul Ryan Congratulates the Guy About to Fire Him

House Speaker Paul Ryan gave a brief television address this morning to congratulate Donald Trump, a man who’s already pledged to unseat him. “This is the most incredible political feat I have seen in my lifetime,” Ryan said, referring to the victory of the guy he couldn’t bear to tell Republicans to support.

Hillary Clinton Addresses Her Supporters: 'This Is Painful, and It Will Be For a Long Time' Hillary Clinton Addresses Her Supporters: 'This Is Painful, and It Will Be For a Long Time'

Hillary Clinton spoke Wednesday morning from the ballroom of the New Yorker Hotel in midtown Manhattan, where she calmly, graciously conceded to Donald Trump and urged her supporters to keep fighting for Democratic values. Clinton appeared before a crowd of staff and supporters, many of them looking stricken or openly…

It's Okay to Feel Terrible Before You Feel Anything Else It's Okay to Feel Terrible Before You Feel Anything Else

It took me a minute to remember this morning. I woke up with that heavy sense of wrongness, the one you feel after a death or a wrenching breakup, but it took a moment to locate it, to figure out where exactly it lives in my body. Remembering that we really did this, that we really elected Donald Trump as leader of…

Donald Trump Has Been Elected President of the United States  Donald Trump Has Been Elected President of the United States 

The United States has elected Donald Trump, a 70-year-old tangerine Superfund site and a menace to the peace, stability, and dignity of the country and the future of the free world, as its Commander in Chief. His stunning upset victory came early Wednesday morning, when the Associated Press called the election, almost…

John Podesta Tells Supporters at What Was Supposed to Be Clinton's Victory Party to Go Home John Podesta Tells Supporters at What Was Supposed to Be Clinton's Victory Party to Go Home

A little after 2 am Eastern time, Hillary Clinton’s campaign chairman John Podesta took the stage at the Javits Center in New York City and told her supporters to go home.

I'm Going To Vomit, How About You? I'm Going To Vomit, How About You?

You want to know how close this election is? Here is how sickeningly, nauseatingly close it is right now, via some projections from the New York Times:

'I'm Feeling Nauseous': Brief Chats With Women Voters in New York City 'I'm Feeling Nauseous': Brief Chats With Women Voters in New York City

It’s Election Day in New York City, which means that both presidential candidates are prowling the streets and your Slot reporters are working ourselves into a near-nervous meltdown about whether a chewed-up glow stick from the clogged toilet of an abandoned casino is somehow going to win this thing.

Every Way Jezebel Described Donald Trump During the Presidential Election  Every Way Jezebel Described Donald Trump During the Presidential Election 

My doves. My lambs. My exhausted little baby angels, bruised as though we’d all fallen down a ladder stretching from Heaven into the lowest fetid depths of Hell itself. What a terrible, terrible journey we’ve taken together, from the moment in June 2015 when Donald Trump, a ballot box stuffed with rotted meat, sailed…

Mike Huckabee Compliments Trump By Calling Him a 'Car Wreck' Mike Huckabee Compliments Trump By Calling Him a 'Car Wreck'

Mike Huckabee is one of those people who, at one time, had a real job as Governor of Arkansas. These days, he doesn’t seem to have much to do, besides promote Donald Trump. That should, in theory, mean that he has ample time to come up with good metaphors for a Trump candidacy. So why did this tweet happen?

Oklahoma Rep Says He Was Being Sarcastic When He Called For Hillary Clinton to Die By Firing Squad Oklahoma Rep Says He Was Being Sarcastic When He Called For Hillary Clinton to Die By Firing Squad

An Oklahoma state legislator says he was merely making a funny joke when he said Hillary Clinton should be executed by firing squad. When he got a call from a reporter, though, Rep. John Bennett accused Clinton of “treason” and insisted, again, that people should die for that. Bennett previously wrote a Facebook post…

Noted Bernie Fan Susan Sarandon Has Endorsed Jill Stein  Noted Bernie Fan Susan Sarandon Has Endorsed Jill Stein 

Your wokest aunt Saran Sarandon, who once suggested Donald Trump might make a better president than Hillary Clinton because of the subsequent revolution, has endorsed Green Party candidate Jill Stein. Jill Stein, in turn, endorses continued remembrance of Harambe and vaccine skepticism.

North Carolina Senator Is Sorry For Joking About Someone Shooting Hillary Clinton  North Carolina Senator Is Sorry For Joking About Someone Shooting Hillary Clinton 

One thing that remains surprising about this election — although perhaps it shouldn’t be — is the number of people who fantasize openly and quite joyfully about someone violently harming Hillary Clinton. The latest entrant is North Carolina GOP Senator Richard Burr, who is sorry for joking about gun owners shooting…

Donna Brazile Resigns From CNN After Leaked Emails Show Her Giving Clinton Debate Questions in Advance  Donna Brazile Resigns From CNN After Leaked Emails Show Her Giving Clinton Debate Questions in Advance 

CNN announced it has “accepted the resignation” of contributor Donna Brazile. Leaked Clinton campaign emails released by WikiLeaks earlier this month and Monday show that Brazile shared questions with the Clinton camp before a March primary debate and a town hall. CNN said in a statement that Brazile resigned October…

How Exactly Did Huma Abedin's Emails End Up On Anthony Weiner's Computer?  How Exactly Did Huma Abedin's Emails End Up On Anthony Weiner's Computer? 

Here we are again, America, getting vigorously poked in the eye by Anthony Weiner’s hyperactive dick. But as the FBI investigates new emails found on his computer, a quick question: why were any of Huma Abedin’s emails on his computer?

Clinton Campaign Issues Cautious, Meaningless Statement As Protesters Are Arrested Near Dakota Pipeline Clinton Campaign Issues Cautious, Meaningless Statement As Protesters Are Arrested Near Dakota Pipeline

Soldiers and police in riot gear moved in on American Indian protesters demonstrating against the Dakota Access Pipeline Thursday, arresting at least 141 people and spraying pepper spray and firing bean bag rounds at the crowd. Meanwhile, the Clinton campaign issued a statement that said very little.

Donald Trump Just Proposed a Dictatorship: 'Cancel the Election and Just Give It to Trump' Donald Trump Just Proposed a Dictatorship: 'Cancel the Election and Just Give It to Trump'

At a rally in Toledo, Ohio on Thursday, Donald Trump, a clump of moldering drain hair, suggested we cancel our election and let him be president.

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